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1. Do Not Cry – Crying is an emotion. Just like we smile when we are happy, we cry when we are sad. Most times there is a gender attached to this emotion and it’s commonly said – BOYS DON’T CRY. There is no need to suppress this common emotion as it is neither harmful nor makes them weak. I’ve seen boys who get angry when someone cries and they cannot tolerate this emotion of others, quite naturally this is due to the reason it was told to them that it’s bad. So next time hug them and say it is OK to cry.

2. Do not Act Like a Girl – Being soft, gentle, caring, smiling all the time, playing with girls, toys, dancing, etc are considered traits for a Boy. Discriminating them, burdening them with the rules in the way they have to behave or act will bring in emotional traits in young boys. They will start thinking that there is something wrong with them. Hence stop telling BE A MAN.

3. Go Outdoor – Very common another expectation from boys is to expect them to master certain skills, especially outdoor or tough ones. To be tough they need to be playing games that are risky, hurtful no matter they like it or not but just because they are boys, they need to.

4. You can’t be a Dancer – It is important to choose a boyish hobby or passion or even a job. Dancing, singing is not well respected when a boy opts for them. Things are changing and have changed a lot currently but let us try to bring in that great change where boys are not limited to doing or following what they want.  

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5. Play with Boy Toys – A day I was in Sapphire, dedicated kids toy store, I saw a couple and a boy shopping for a gift. The boy was choosing all guns, building blocks, cars and he was told that they cannot buy all these as it’s a Girl’s Birthday. Why do we restrict certain toys to boys? Like soft toys, kitchen set, Barbie, play tent. It’s considered a crime-like when few parents see other boys playing with a kitchen set. Think about it.

6. Peeing in Public – It is never ok to pee in public. If today’s men pee in public it’s solely because it was told to them that it’s ok to pee outside. When young girls and women can control why boys can’t? I hope I made my point.

7. Shouting is OK – Again this is not a girl thing and hence it’s ok for boys to shout? Shouting, anger, fighting and then hurting others will all be considered ok by them later. We need to draw a line to their emotions which are hurtful. Crying doesn’t hurt others but shouting does. They need to understand they become superior by good deeds and not by shouting.

8. That’s a Girl Thing – You need not know – Our society considers any aspect of a woman’s life as taboo. A discussion which need not be made in presence of men, least boys. During adolescence, we kill boys’ curiosity of knowing the change in other gender and they naturally are forced to find it out in other ways. Ways that can be harmful, ways that give half-cooked wrong knowledge which can make a damaging impact on them. There is nothing wrong with having sex talk, explaining puberty. During my monthly periods when I was asked to take bath each time, my brother was told a crow pooped on me… Rest is for you to assume.

9. Respect Girls – Respecting each human is important. We do not have to build a society of hypocrites where we discriminate against boys and girls, we showcase boys are superior all the time and then come out and teach them to respect girls.

10. Dream = Career = Money – Our society is so patriarchal that we sow the same in young minds with utmost pressure and stress. The way we talk about a girl’s career choices is not as serious as that of a boy’s. They are always told that they need to find a dream job that pays them well – good enough to survive, take care of a spouse, take care of elders, build a house, etc. If you do not study well today you will become a cobbler, painter, beggar, and what not…

A responsible parent’s job is not just to educate them with greater degrees but to educate them to be good, respectful, compassionate human beings. 

Video: 10 Things not to tell to a Boy

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